Baby Gerard gained a few ounces

Today I got to hold little Gerard and we both felt a lot better. His heartrate dropped and so did mine. He's got such sweet, sweet energy. I've never felt so much peace as when I get to hold his little body. The RT calls it "skin to skin" and it is expected to help both my hormone level and his immune function. It's just amazing.

He's up to 3 lbs. 3 oz. today. That's progress. It's Day 9. He's come up from 2 lbs. 10 oz. He's still on the ventilator, but requires a lot less oxygen when I'm in the room with him. Again...amazing. Not quite what we planned, but what is?

My blood pressure is still sky high (diastolic still ranging around 103) and they're watching that I don't seizure on them. That is still frightening...and of course, I blew another I.V. I'm frustrated with the entire situation. Hospitals are not hotels, and I've never been more uncomfortable or in more pain. That, and they don't let you sleep. So...I'm trying to do lots of meditation, but the threat of going back on the mag makes me a nervous wreck.
Here's another photo of my little Christmas angel.

Preggers

Well, I guess it's enough of this denial business. I'm now 16 weeks pregnant. First time I've made it this far and feeling really lucky about all of it. The only thing that's been bothering me is that I haven't felt much movement the last several days, and I read an article about a woman who lost hers at 20 weeks - not good timing for me to read that article!

So it's off to my OB this afternoon for more tests and more views and more conversations. So far my statistics for Downs is very low (relief), but I still have CVS and Spina Bifida to deal with. I'm thinking positive.

The great news about work is that no one has noticed... In fact, an office co-worker said that I look like I'm getting skinnier! I chuckled at that. I think I've finally gained a couple of pounds - which is OK. I just don't want to balloon like a crazy pregnant woman. I've felt really good and have kept up my 6-day exercise regime, even getting doubles in on Monday and Wednesday.

Not able to sleep. Alzheimer's ramblings...

Tonight I'm having a hard time getting to sleep. Normally, this is not something I have difficulty with, but tonight I find myself wide awake at midnight. Michael's snoring (he has a bad cold) and I thought hey, let me post something to my rambling blog. Besides, it's been forever and I never even wrote about my holidays.

Holidays. They were the most memorable I think I've ever had. It was hard...really hard, but it wound up being quite profound. Mom is suffering with advanced Alzheimer's disease...at the age of 64. My sister called the week before Christmas and said, "You need to come home. This is probably mom's last Christmas. At home, anyway..." So, off I went to Alabama to "surprise" Dad and Mom, and do whatever I could do to help out. It was worse than I imagined, she didn't know who I was most of the time. But I had the opportunity to help take care of her - feed her, change her, toilet her, dress her. It's all so very simple if you're talking about a baby or a child - but one's mother. No one prepares you for that. There were tears. Lots of tears. But there was laughter too - and that made things much easier to handle. Who ever thought we'd end up at the "Waffle House" for Christmas dinner! Here's the video.

Gardening and Jubilee

Yesterday I gardened for four hours or so before going to Sister Zenzen's 50th Jubilee Celebration. It was a lovely day! This blogging stuff is still new to me so I'm keeping posts short. Here's a link to my friend's post of our dinner - yummy honey chicken and Costa Rican rice. Check out Michael's Blogtastic blog: http://pjamms.blogspot.com

At Michael's

Tonight I met Bogie. He's such a sweet, sweet boy. See photo.