March 30 - Quiet Weekend

My boys... Mr. Big Stuff without his canula. Isn't he adorable with the triple chin?


March 30 - Quiet weekend with mommy and daddy and look at the new afghan!
It feels so strange to not log in Gerard's weight every time I log in. He'll get weighed and measured on Tuesday when the County Nurse comes to do a development assessment. That should be interesting...
Neat trick I learned yesterday morning. Yes, I had the dreaded night shift and the morning shift since Michael had to work all day Saturday. Michael snapped this photo before dashing out the door to the Science Olympiad. Don't ask. Doesn't it sound brainy and dorky for a Saturday morning? How could he leave us like this???? Could you?
We had a lovely little surprise in the mail yesterday from Aunt Bee in Charleston. She knit Gerard an afghan! Thanks Aunt Bee! We love it! This will certainly become a family heirloom. It reminded me of Grandma Ory who used to crochet many nice little things for my sister and I growing up. I've got some cute photos and a video - and I'm sure you'll be seeing more in the future. It's just perfect.
Yesterday Gerard ate and ate and ate! He must be going through a growth spurt. Today it's been much more stable and he's been quiet.

And...ta-da...(drumroll) - we keep taking him off of the canula he's doing just fine. See in the photos how his nose is exposed and the canula is sitting on the bridge of his nose? When I feed him this way his oxygen is higher than with the canula in his nose. Hmm...I predict he'll be off of oxygen by the end of the week. I just can't wait to not be stuck in the bedroom all the time! I'll actually be able to move him about in a sling. I'm also looking forward to getting those darned dots off of his face. He'll probably have some horrible red marks for a long time, but it will heal. Then we can have some nice photos taken and send them to all our friends who don't even know we had a baby. Won't they all be surprised!

Today I got to take in a yoga class for the first time in a long, long time. Who knew in Ogden that there would be a Sunday class at 10 a.m. I was shocked and awed. It wasn't in the Kripalu style that I am trained and love dearly, but it felt great anyway. The teacher even corrected me in down dog (I was testing her). I worked up quite a sweat doing almost nothing and I feel great having moved my body in ways that I haven't moved in a long time. Michael and I are going to try to work a couple of classes a week into our schedule for me to attend so I can have a little bit of balance in my life. All I can say is ahhhhhh... We need more days like today.

OK - for all of you people who wanted to help me early on and I couldn't accept your help or visits because I was so sick and couldn't handle it, bring it on! I know you don't want to bug me, but now I'm ready for healthy company. Please bug me now! I'll keep saying this over and over until someone calls me. I can be persistent. Even if you have not been. Hello! I'm desperate for adult and girlie conversation! Can you hear me now? If I don't answer the phone immediately, it's because I'm feeding or changing the G-Man. But I will get back with you soon. I promise. :) I'm begging you to call me! Don't make me beg!
For those of you not in Utah, it snowed again today. Pretty much all day until the sun came out 15 minutes ago. Happy Spring! I did see my miniature dafodills blooming in the garden. That just made me smile. Gardening season is near...
Also, Heather P., thanks so much for cooking all that delicious food before you left last week. We had pepper steak for dinner tonight (uninterrupted I might add) and it was wonderful! You're such a good cook and one of our angels here on earth. Bless you!

See the video below of Gerard loving his new afghan in Shivasana Pose courtesy of Aunt Bee!

March 27

Not much to talk about today except that our daycare provider has flaked on us and we're officially looking again. I'm sure we'll find someone good and dependable, it's just another thing to do. Also, Michael is finally getting an MRI tomorrow related to his car accident last fall. His neck is fractured. So...more visits to our favorite hospital! These photos are much cuter than what's happening, so here ya go. Enjoy! I read Skippy Jon to Gerard this morning and he had a wonderful snooze. I bathed him this afternoon early, so he's all decked out in stripes and sleeping peacefully after feeding. Notice all the scratches all over his face? He keeps trying to pull the canula out and gets himself instead.

Then and Now - March 24 - 3 month mark

Today marks Gerard being with us 3 months. That was then...

And this is now!














I can't believe it's been three months, and then again it feels like three years. Both Michael and I are getting fed up with the monitors and wires getting in the way of doing anything and everything that's normal. Before the supply is all gone, it would be a wonderful experience to actually nurse him like a normal baby. I'm not sure it's going to happen, and I'll just have to readjust my expectations. I know that eventually we'll be able to do everything else, but this one thing has got me especially bothered and feeling "less than" in many ways. Michael would like to feed and bathe him without the contraptions, and that's coming sooner than later. Patience, I know...

We had a wonderful week with Heather. It was so generous of her to come and spend so much time. She not only helped us with the baby, but cooked and filled our deep freeze with fabulous dishes! Thanks so much Auntie Heather! I can't believe someone would come all the way across the country (and another country) to help me out. That's pretty darn special. And yes...I cried several times today and tonight. We have lots and lots of new books to read and share with Gerard thanks to Heather's being in the publishing business and an excellent writer herself.

Easter 2008

Yesterday we had a little experience. I fed Gerard 80 cc (which is a lot for him) and he wanted more...so I gave him another 22 cc's. And then another 25. Big mistake. He not only spit it up, he projectile vomited ALL of it all over me, the chair, the floor, his outfit, etc. and we had quite the little drama going on. It was in his canula (which is NOT GOOD) and I was freaking out about it. I had to yank the thing out so he wouldn't drown in his own spit up literally, and Michael and I scrambled and carried on like crazy people. Meanwhile, Gerard's just looking around like this is just another day... and he was still hungry, of course. All feeding stopped for two hours and we resumed said schedule with no "seconds." Exhausting. And did I mention we have beige carpet? OK...now you can laugh. Happy Easter everyone!

March 19 - Reading my book

Gerard Weight - 8 lbs. 7 oz.
Yesterday, Gerard weighed in at the doctor's office and is still gaining well. Good fat genes! He did really well (meaning he screamed at the right time and settled right down) when he got his RSV synegis shot. He acts like a gentleman in front of the doctor, which is nice, but doesn't help us to explain the little funny things he does that keep us up at night. Good little actor.

The doctor is concerned about his retracted penis (more so than last week's doctor), so we're going to Primary Children's in Salt Lake next week for an emergency consult and then certain surgery. Worst case scenario is that we'll end up in the emergency room earlier than our next Wen. apt. time at Primary's. We just have to make sure he has enough wet diapers in a day. Just what we need - more complications. It's called phimosis and I guess it's more common than we thought. People just don't like to talk about it. I don't blame them. It's frightening to see and it's even more frightening to me to know that he'll have to go under anesthesia at such a tender age and still on oxygen. Not good at all.

On the lighter side, Heather bestowed some wonderful books on Gerard for his library and we have a fun photo of him "reading" one of his new books during tummy time. Isn't he the little scholar? Poor kid doesn't have a choice! He loves the image of the butterfly and the banana. Heather's also been cooking some wonderful food and helping us with feedings. I'm going to cry when she leaves. Even though I'm not sleeping any more than usual, I feel better having an adult around to balance things out. Tonight's my all-nighter, so I'll sign off now.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Gerard Weight - 8 lbs. 2 oz.
Happy St. Patty's Day - check out my little green sleeper!


Aunt Heather is visiting from Toronto and we're having a nice time getting acquainted. I'm starting to hold my head up a little on my own and I'm getting stronger and stronger every day. If only we could ditch this oxygen business...but that will have to wait a while.
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Tomorrow we track back to the hospital for the RSV shot. It's an ordeal to travel with the equipment, and us ladies will be on our own since Michael teaches all day on Tuesday. Should be interesting. While this post is short, you can see Little G's weight is up again and he's starting to look like a regular newborn. We learned at our last visit that he will have to go to Primary Children's Hospital for a surgical procedure we weren't expecting. More on that at a later date.

I'm so excited that Heather's here! We're having a wonderful time catching up and just living the life of "life around Gerard" this week. Today Michael let us slip out to the gym for an hour and we got ourselves moving. Now I need a nap.

March 10 - The Weekend Update and Nurse Visit

Gerard Weight - 7 lbs. 13 oz.

Today the home health nurse visited and checked the little guy out. He's still gaining weight - hooray! As usual, we had lots of questions for her. Nurse said he looks great and we're doing fine. She gave me advice regarding his feedings and things I might be able to do to hang in there. I'll give my struggling a couple of more days until we see the doctor on Wednesday and decide next steps. The NICU stuff is catching up with my milk supply. She thinks I've done great to hang in there as long as I have. I don't want to give up, but I'm starting to lose hope on that one.

The past weekend was a little rough. Saturday during "tummy time" Gerard got a horrible nose bleed and scared us to death. You just don't expect a baby to have a gush of blood running out of his nose! After our panic, I held him up, cleaned the canula and called the doctor. He was doing so much better with his breathing and we couldn't understand why this would happen. The canula is causing problems...again. Drying his nose out and irritating him. So...the doctor ordered that a bubble box (humidity) be added to the oxygen. Of course, we were wondering why that didn't happen before now, but we're getting used to that response. He's doing better, but still bleeds occasionally. I just don't freak out now when it happens - I get it taken care of. Michael lets me do the honors of suctioning out his nose, adding drops, cleaning the canula and adding gel to the base, changing the sheets, etc. Such high maintenance!

The good news is that yesterday we lowered his oxygen to 1/16 and he's holding steady in the mid 90's. That's a big step. He still sets the alarms off when he eats, but I'm getting used to it.
My boys...

Cute stuff - I got him this cute Pooh sleeper with little Pooh bear heads on the feet and I just love him in that outfit! It's the only outfit that really "fits" him right now. Normally I don't go for this cutesy stuff, but I'm a big Pooh fan, and this outfit is really preppy, don't you think? The logo has Pooh leaning over a turtle that says, "A rather small friend." Very cute. Pictures to share. The navy outfit says "I love my mommy" and is courtesy Nanny Angela. He looks fabulous in navy by the way - but spit up goes with everything, right?

Upcoming weekend - Something to look forward to - girlfriend Heather from Canada is coming to visit and help us out. I can't wait! Our first houseguest! Heather and I were Rotary Scholars in Leeds back in 1989. We hung out and traveled together and we've stayed in touch ever since - she even sang at my wedding. Heather was a preemie, too - and a twin, so she has a lot in common with our little family. It will be nice to have adult conversation during the day. And...Heather is an awesome cook. Michael will get a break and I will get something good to eat one night. We're all winners. Heather's from Edmonton but now lives in Toronto. She's going to love the weather here!

March 5 - Due Date!

Gerard Weight - 7 lbs. 7 oz.
So much going on!
The home health nurse came out and weighed Gerard yesterday and he's gaining weight at home. Yeah! We needed that good news. Lucky for me, the nurse was a lactation specialist at the hospital and knew Gerard already. I was so glad because I had a ton of questions. She confirmed that he's doing well, we're doing all the right things, and I need to keep doing what I'm doing. The schedule is brutal, but the goal is not going back to the NICU. Doing what I have to do to keep him here. Tonight I'm going to try turning down the oxygen a notch to see how he does. I don't think he's quite ready, but we have to start experimenting. He's still at 1/8.


I'm learning that most people don't understand how complicated this is due to the fact that Michael and I are staying positive. When I run into people I often get the question, "where's the baby?" Well, we can't take him out of the house except for the doctor's visits. We can't have everyone pop by to visit with me and him at this time at home. No, he can't go to the store, the church, out and about to the park like other babies. He has to stay protected due to his fragile lungs and digestive system. We can't have friends with kids in school and daycare coming around due to the "germ" and RSV factor. If he got sick it would be devastating for all of us. I wish things were different, I really do. It's hard to be banished to the bedroom, mommy misses adult conversation, but for now, it's necessary. I know you all understand. By June things should be a little less restrictive. Trust me, it's more frustrating for me than it is for you.

Before the shower
Last Saturday, some of our friends, mostly Michael's co-workers and colleagues in his geosciences department, threw us a baby shower. This was actually the first baby shower I've ever been to. Thanks Nicole! Auntie Carla did us a big favor and babysat - and yes, I called a few times to make sure Gerard was behaving... It was scary not being at home with him for a couple of hours. I made it OK and he did well by sleeping through most of it. Thanks Carla!!!

We were thrilled to get the wonderful Bob Revolution Stroller that I wanted from Babinski's from Michael's department. Wow! We both almost cried. This is an awesome stroller that I won't have to replace...and I might be able to do the Ogden Marathon if he's doing well enough. We got some really, really nice things. Thanks to everyone for being so kind and generous to us old folks parents. Bob made a delicious gumbo and Nicole baked homemade king cake. It was a nice time. I usually have a big Mardi Gras party every year and this year...nada. So the shower made up for that. Who cares if we're in the middle/end of Lent! Lessez les bon temps roullier! Then, on Monday I got this awesome diaper bag in the mail from my sister-in-law by Petunia Pickle Bottom. Perfect with the stroller. Thanks Kim, John, Brett and Chase!

Jim and Rosemary helped us get things home, (yes, another snow storm) - and here's a shot of Jim holding Gerard. It's amazing how tall Jim is and how short Gerard is. I think they like each other. They certainly have the same haircut. And I'm thinking those genius little pee pee teepees will come in handy! Pee pee teepees look exactly like they sound.
Today through Friday would be Gerard's actual due date. Now I have many dates to remember...his actual birthday, his due date, and his gestational age. This is a complicated kid. He gets to get his second RSV shot next week. Something I'm not looking forward to. He screams and I cry.

Funny man's been up for almost three hours and I'm wondering how that's going to work out with his schedule. Michael teaches tonight, so we're on our own. I think he's getting a bath because it's time...he smells like it's overdue. Thank goodness for American Idol. The music is entertaining enough for me to put the TV on. He's so funny loving that show - his eyes usually search for the source, but last night he ate right through it. Tonight - he ate right through it again. I have to mention that feedings are taking an hour. He's dribbling and slow for some reason. Not quite sure what that's about.
On a completely different subject...
I finally got a copy of the book that features my authoring a chapter on gardens in assisted living facilities for people with dementia based on my research. Michael's so proud. I like this - note the baby in the crib behind me. Ha!

For those of you who would like to comment via e-mail, on the blog or at my home email address: ro_hernandez@msn.com please do...I'm already going crazy not having regular emails and chats coming to me from my friends that I did things with on a regular basis before the baby. I don't have NICU runs to make life complicated anymore, and I'm missing my friends and co-workers a lot. I'm not really checking my work e-mail account because then I'll want to work. And this is plenty enough work right here. I have noticed that some of my "friends" have stayed away and have not corresponded with me since this all started. I know things are awkward, but I'm still here!!! Hello! Hello? Hello... OK, so I'm starting to feel like I've been abandoned. I had a baby, not the plague. Oh, and for those of you who have been absolutely fabulous. Keep being absolutely fabulous. I love you all. Just because someone almost dies does not make them dead.

A great big thanks to Michael for letting me get out of the house today to pick up a mobile at Babies R Us and giving me some gym time this morning. I'm so weak and out of shape! I can hardly lift half of what I could before Christmas. Guess that will just take some time. It felt good. It felt really, really good to move! So nice to not be physically sick. That, and I'm a full 10 lbs. below my pre-baby weight. Gotta love it. Although I don't recommend it as a diet plan. No.
The doctor recommended tummy time for Gerard. Here we are practicing:

March 3 - Only One Person is Allowed to Sleep!

And the sleeper is...Gerard!
Sorry for the delay in posting, but things have been very busy. As you can imagine, Gerard is sleeping a lot of the time and we are trying to figure out his grunts and little noises and what they might or might not mean. It makes for sleepless nights. He's had a little trouble adjusting to the change in environment, which is expected. I try to make more noise, but our place is not as active as the NICU! So far his favorite music is Allison Kraus. Pretty good, I think.
I wish I had the energy to write more, but I don't since it's taking three times to get the site to not crash, and I really need to crash myself.