Baby Gerard gained a few ounces

Today I got to hold little Gerard and we both felt a lot better. His heartrate dropped and so did mine. He's got such sweet, sweet energy. I've never felt so much peace as when I get to hold his little body. The RT calls it "skin to skin" and it is expected to help both my hormone level and his immune function. It's just amazing.

He's up to 3 lbs. 3 oz. today. That's progress. It's Day 9. He's come up from 2 lbs. 10 oz. He's still on the ventilator, but requires a lot less oxygen when I'm in the room with him. Again...amazing. Not quite what we planned, but what is?

My blood pressure is still sky high (diastolic still ranging around 103) and they're watching that I don't seizure on them. That is still frightening...and of course, I blew another I.V. I'm frustrated with the entire situation. Hospitals are not hotels, and I've never been more uncomfortable or in more pain. That, and they don't let you sleep. So...I'm trying to do lots of meditation, but the threat of going back on the mag makes me a nervous wreck.
Here's another photo of my little Christmas angel.