January 29. Back to work

Gerard weight - 4 lbs. 10 oz.

Yesterday, I went back to work. I'm giving it a go...but finding it a great challenge running back and forth to the hospital. My brain isn't working like it was. I'm hoping time will help with that. I'm still physically really weak. That's frustrating. Helpful comments from co-workers - "You look great!" Not-so-helpful comments from co-workers - "You look so skinny!" First, I am not to ever be confused with skinny. Yes, I lost a little weight, but I don't feel good about it. And considering the entire ordeal, not what I want to hear. I was starved on magnesium sulfate for three days. Supervised by the doctors, and supposedly good for my brain and the baby's, but not an experience I recommend. It's not like going to Club Med or even Green Valley Spa for a few days. For those three days I really didn't know who or where I was or what I was saying. For goodness sakes, I almost didn't make it! Days lost: at least 5. Scary stuff!!! I don't even remember Christmas. Not one bit. Enough of the nightmare. Here's a photo of my office from the hospital. Pretty day. Funny how this non-attractive building looks quite lovely with the snow on the mountains. And yes...it snowed again today. Just in case you Southerners didn't see the national radar. See Bennett - no boats in sight! Just mountains and snow.

Here's a fun photo of my sister (she's second from the left) on her Krewe's Mardi Gras Float in Prattville, AL. Whoooohooo! Throw me somethin' misses! I so miss carnival time. Especially rural or small town carnival. Makes me miss Mamou. (LA). What's funny about this photo is how warm it looks. Seeing that they have gloves on lets me know it was cold last Saturday.


And...little Gerard is doing OK.
We haven't been real happy with Room 4 the last two days, and I suspect it's because the nurses that are best work in Rooms 1 and 2 - higher levels of critical care. His monitors were ringing and dinging for 10 minutes and we waited and waited for a nurse to come and check, or even say hello to us tonight and...no nurse! No one even greeted us - so we were not pleased. Guess it's time to get more assertive and visit the doctor and nurses on rounds. We've been discouraged in the past from doing that, but now we're going to have to do it. Lots of updates need to be reported. Today I also got conflicting information about feeding, and the nurses today said Gerard was ready for me to feed him. Just a day ago the lactation nurse said to wait another week or two, and now they're wanting me to feed him? Today? Now? It's so confusing! So we went for it and Gerard did just fine. He actually fed for 15 full minutes before falling asleep, which I was told was excellent. That was great, but again...no nurse supervision! And it's not like I have three children at home that I've already learned how to practice on. Yes, I'm frustrated with the lack of communication and the way the staff today acted like I should know what to do. Lucky for me that Michael was with me experiencing all of this. I think he's finally starting to get it. I stayed calm throughout for Gerard and he took a nice long snooze on me, but I really want to talk to a doctor stat! (no - they don't really say stat, I just said that for effect).


Here's the cutie-pie snuggly boy.
Mommy wore me out! (and I'm covering my ears because those nurses are talking way, way too loud) - Use your quiet voices, please...it is a NICU!!!! There's enough racket coming from all the machines.

Here's a chance for you to hear how loud it gets! (listen to the background). And only one baby is crying during these few seconds...