And the pain meltdowns have begun...
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
G update
No cellular service in this hospital. No e-mail except the middle of the night (3 am) and no f-booking works here as far as messages. I can text, that's about it. So if you haven't heard from me, that's why.
Things are very rough. Not good. G is still in the hospital and is not doing well. Lots of vomiting due to medication issues. Right when it looks like he's turning a corner, he vomits again and we start all over. Having trouble managing his pain as well.
This is not my favorite hospital. It's a sad place to be. Lots of very, very sick children and lots of "code blue" announcements all day. It's really, really difficult. I actually would prefer to be at home. In fact, for the first time in my life, I almost disconnected everything and fled the other night. Took us 48 hours to get him into a room. Not acceptable.
I've tried posting now five times. If this doesn't work, it's not getting posted. Sorry. Exhausted. I'll try again tomorrow. Looks like we'll be here until Sunday.
Things are very rough. Not good. G is still in the hospital and is not doing well. Lots of vomiting due to medication issues. Right when it looks like he's turning a corner, he vomits again and we start all over. Having trouble managing his pain as well.
This is not my favorite hospital. It's a sad place to be. Lots of very, very sick children and lots of "code blue" announcements all day. It's really, really difficult. I actually would prefer to be at home. In fact, for the first time in my life, I almost disconnected everything and fled the other night. Took us 48 hours to get him into a room. Not acceptable.
I've tried posting now five times. If this doesn't work, it's not getting posted. Sorry. Exhausted. I'll try again tomorrow. Looks like we'll be here until Sunday.
Surgery
Sorry this has to be brief, but it's 1:15 a.m. on Friday night and I haven't slept much since Tuesday.
G's surgeries went well, but they had trouble managing his pain. Now they are not listening to my recommendations about medications for infection. G's vomiting a lot! He can't handle all the meds on his empty stomach. Hasn't eaten or drank - and when he does (like a bird) he throws it all up.
Rough times. It will pass, but the post-op stay was 48 hours and unacceptable. I had to call corporate to get something done about it. After that, we got a room in 20 minutes. Frustrating.
If the doctor doesn't listen to me tomorrow, I'm going to have to do something drastic, and will just pay the price later. Poor G. He's in a state of big swings of up and down - and he's exhausted. Slept most of the day hooked up to an i.v. Had to give him a strong narcotic tonight.
I'm going to sleep now. The hospital blocks internet connections for longer than 5-10 minutes and I'm about to get kicked off. More later.
I'm having better luck with facebook - so if you want information, you'll have to sign on to see photos there until we get home. And then...I'll be busy being a nurse again. Sorry everyone!
FYI - My Mom had a seizure yesterday and she's on anti-seizure medication. Poor Mamma. Please pray for her.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Wishing G luck
The night before the big surgeries. 
June 23, 2009
I haven't ranted in a while, so here's some dribble.
Tomorrow Gerard will be having surgery at 7:30 a.m. in Salt Lake. At least, that's the plan.
That means leaving Ogden at 5:00 a.m in time for a 6:00 a.m. check-in at Primary's. Which means I have to wake up at 4:00 a.m. to get the car packed and everyone ready to go. This will not be fun. Just ask my Dad, who knows what a bear I can be in the mornings. Well...G has inherited that gene, and it's a good thing, because that means we won't have to talk to one another.
G will not be able to have anything other than clear liquids to drink until 4:30 a.m and after that...nothing. Should be interesting for me when he gets thirsty. Normally, he doesn't want anything until around 8 am anyway, so we'll see... G is a good sleeper and crashed hard tonight around 9. I had a busy evening getting him ready, packed, bathed and playing hard to be sure he'd sleep. I did well. Now I can't sleep (nerves). Our neighborhood had it's annual summer solstice party, which we nearly missed. We arrived in time for the breakdown of everything tasty at 8:00. We didn't get home until after 6:30, and in the process stood up a friend for the first time ever! I'm a scatter-brain this week. Sorry, friend. You know who you are and I'm sure you understand. I'm sorry...we'll make it up to you.
For all of you out there wondering, there will be 4 procedures done to Gerard tomorrow. 1. revised circumsision (I don't want to talk about why, but I'm sure you get the gist. Shouldn't have been done in the NICU in the first place). 2. tonsilictomy. 3. adinoidectomy. 4. laryngeal exploration. Please don't ask me to explain any of these later on.
Rationally, I know that it is a good thing to have these things done when kids are young. I know that thousands of children have these surgeries performed even as a matter of routine. It's Gerard's blog for when he's older to know what happened with me and him, so I can say what I want here, and I don't want to hear any bull---- about my feelings and how this is going to be so much better for him, bla bla bla. People seem to forget that Gerard is 18 months old. He'll be 15 months adjusted when this takes place, not 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 years old. He's a "baby" for all practical purposes. This is some serious stuff going on. So serious that our local hospitals will not do it. So I can say that I'm concerned. I'm worried, and I'm so sorry that he has to deal with this while he's so little and fragile, as great as he looks. He looks so good and healthy right now that I want to squeeze him all day and play and read to him and finally, "enjoy" him. We've been through the rough stuff. It's all been caregiving up until this point. Forget the mom and dad bonding... We've almost lost him twice now...so I guess I should be ready for another go. Bring it on! What I'd like to say is that I'm very sensitive right now and I'm sick and tired of people saying heartless and ridiculous things to me about what I should or should not be doing. I have made many, many sacrifices so that he can be strong and healthy. I have continued to work through all of this. I have stayed home from work when he's been sick to nurse him. I have taken him out of daycare at the demands of my doctors. I am fortunate that I work at a place that is allowing me to do this for a limited time. But this has been and is a hard, hard decision. It's been reduced to this, or chronic illness for years to come, and I already personally know what that's like. I don't want that for him. He's already had tubes put in his ears, a botched up circumcision and has chronic lung disease on top of all the rest. So let's hope and pray these procedures work and that it doesn't cause more damage. I've already got enough Catholic guilt about all this to last the rest of my life.
As for me and my personal health, I'm feeling much better, although I am quite fatigued. My biopsy results came in "normal," and my head CT looks tons better (no surgery planned)! Hormone therapy is no fun, but I should have a clean bill of health by the end of July. One more ultrasound in a couple of weeks will let us know if I need to have a different treatment. It's been a rough, rough year for the little guy and me. Pressing on...
If you haven't heard from me, it's just been a really tight schedule lately. I'm trying to hang on to what I can with work, and at the same time trying to manage the house and sick baby. I've let my yoga practice completely go and haven't been to the gym in yonks. I did manage to find someone to sit with Gerard for a few days a week which allows me to continue to work in an intermittent capacity. It's all a challenge. The benefit to all this juggling is that my creative skills are popping up in completely new ways and I'm getting some wonderful design work in a spare 30 minutes or so a few times a week.
To all my girlfreinds - thank you. You are all jewels and angels and I couldn't have made it this far without ya'll. God bless. Good night.
June 23, 2009I haven't ranted in a while, so here's some dribble.
Tomorrow Gerard will be having surgery at 7:30 a.m. in Salt Lake. At least, that's the plan.
That means leaving Ogden at 5:00 a.m in time for a 6:00 a.m. check-in at Primary's. Which means I have to wake up at 4:00 a.m. to get the car packed and everyone ready to go. This will not be fun. Just ask my Dad, who knows what a bear I can be in the mornings. Well...G has inherited that gene, and it's a good thing, because that means we won't have to talk to one another.
G will not be able to have anything other than clear liquids to drink until 4:30 a.m and after that...nothing. Should be interesting for me when he gets thirsty. Normally, he doesn't want anything until around 8 am anyway, so we'll see... G is a good sleeper and crashed hard tonight around 9. I had a busy evening getting him ready, packed, bathed and playing hard to be sure he'd sleep. I did well. Now I can't sleep (nerves). Our neighborhood had it's annual summer solstice party, which we nearly missed. We arrived in time for the breakdown of everything tasty at 8:00. We didn't get home until after 6:30, and in the process stood up a friend for the first time ever! I'm a scatter-brain this week. Sorry, friend. You know who you are and I'm sure you understand. I'm sorry...we'll make it up to you.
For all of you out there wondering, there will be 4 procedures done to Gerard tomorrow. 1. revised circumsision (I don't want to talk about why, but I'm sure you get the gist. Shouldn't have been done in the NICU in the first place). 2. tonsilictomy. 3. adinoidectomy. 4. laryngeal exploration. Please don't ask me to explain any of these later on.
Rationally, I know that it is a good thing to have these things done when kids are young. I know that thousands of children have these surgeries performed even as a matter of routine. It's Gerard's blog for when he's older to know what happened with me and him, so I can say what I want here, and I don't want to hear any bull---- about my feelings and how this is going to be so much better for him, bla bla bla. People seem to forget that Gerard is 18 months old. He'll be 15 months adjusted when this takes place, not 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 years old. He's a "baby" for all practical purposes. This is some serious stuff going on. So serious that our local hospitals will not do it. So I can say that I'm concerned. I'm worried, and I'm so sorry that he has to deal with this while he's so little and fragile, as great as he looks. He looks so good and healthy right now that I want to squeeze him all day and play and read to him and finally, "enjoy" him. We've been through the rough stuff. It's all been caregiving up until this point. Forget the mom and dad bonding... We've almost lost him twice now...so I guess I should be ready for another go. Bring it on! What I'd like to say is that I'm very sensitive right now and I'm sick and tired of people saying heartless and ridiculous things to me about what I should or should not be doing. I have made many, many sacrifices so that he can be strong and healthy. I have continued to work through all of this. I have stayed home from work when he's been sick to nurse him. I have taken him out of daycare at the demands of my doctors. I am fortunate that I work at a place that is allowing me to do this for a limited time. But this has been and is a hard, hard decision. It's been reduced to this, or chronic illness for years to come, and I already personally know what that's like. I don't want that for him. He's already had tubes put in his ears, a botched up circumcision and has chronic lung disease on top of all the rest. So let's hope and pray these procedures work and that it doesn't cause more damage. I've already got enough Catholic guilt about all this to last the rest of my life.
As for me and my personal health, I'm feeling much better, although I am quite fatigued. My biopsy results came in "normal," and my head CT looks tons better (no surgery planned)! Hormone therapy is no fun, but I should have a clean bill of health by the end of July. One more ultrasound in a couple of weeks will let us know if I need to have a different treatment. It's been a rough, rough year for the little guy and me. Pressing on...
If you haven't heard from me, it's just been a really tight schedule lately. I'm trying to hang on to what I can with work, and at the same time trying to manage the house and sick baby. I've let my yoga practice completely go and haven't been to the gym in yonks. I did manage to find someone to sit with Gerard for a few days a week which allows me to continue to work in an intermittent capacity. It's all a challenge. The benefit to all this juggling is that my creative skills are popping up in completely new ways and I'm getting some wonderful design work in a spare 30 minutes or so a few times a week.
To all my girlfreinds - thank you. You are all jewels and angels and I couldn't have made it this far without ya'll. God bless. Good night.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Check out my digs...
Uncle Scott and Auntie Daphne
Our good friends Uncle Scott and Auntie Daphne looking oh, so still in love. Look at them smiling at me!
Our cabin view of the mountains
Pretty overcast morning, but gorgeous! Just like 10 years ago. Happy Anniversary Scott and Daphne!View from the front porch
Mom wanted to take this photo...can't see why though. She liked the composition of all that wood.Running the big room
Here I am right before I slipped on the Oriental. Yes, we had a bloody nose this time! I'm too busy staring at all the stuffed heads on the walls that don't talk back.Mommy made it all better by putting ice on it so I could lick it.
My very first Tee from Disney
Look at my fabulous Mickey Tee from Walt Disney World (FL) that Nanny Angela sent me! M-I-C-K-E-Y Mouse. We sing that every night now. Thanks so much Nanny Angela, and all my Landry cousins who sent me a beautiful and soft, squishy Mickey to hug when I get out of surgery on Wednesday. 
Montana for reunion weekend
We all headed to Elkhorn Ranch for the weekend. Scott and Daphne celebrated their 10th anniversary in the place it all began...and it was glorious! How fun it was meeting up with old freinds and teaching them all about "ba" and "da" -
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
.JPG)
.JPG)
